Top 5 things I loved and hated about this past weekend

 I’m a fairly positive person and so I like to freely talk about the things I love. I love a lot of things, including but not limited to all baby animals. Sloth, owls, kittens, ewes, whatever, they are all cute. I also love Crime TV, elderly couples holding hands, the sound of Ira Glass’ voice, the sound of Rachel Maddow’s voice, the smell of freshly cut lawn, and more. I could go on for longer because I really do love a lot of things and I’m not super into hate, but sometimes I need to vent. There were some things I really loved about the previous weekend and some things I wanted to punch. Here we go.

5 Things I loved

5. Matty the baby sloth

This video is unimaginably precious. Last week Matty the baby sloth gave a hibiscus flower petal to a lady. I watched this 31 second clip ten times in a row, the first time I watch it. The little sloths tiny smile and the sweet way he gives her the petal then grabs her hand made a few tears trickle down the sides of my nose. If you haven’t seen this adorable viral video yet, then take a few seconds to lose yourself in his kind slothly little eyes, it might just make your day, your week or your year.

2. Learning

I suppose learning should be higher, but there a few things I loved more than learning this weekend. This weekend was one of the weekends where I was a group leader for the nutrition class I graduated from in 2011. I love going to this class because I learn even more about nutrition every time I’m there. This weekend we reviewed the Immune & Allergy and Endocrine system functions.

For anyone who knows me (s)he will know that I love nutrition and enjoy talking about the way food heals us.

            Food = Life

            Food = Health

            Food = Happiness

People often ascribe to the old adage, “you are what you eat.” I truly believe this, meaning if you’re eating processed foods, your body does in fact become an interminable waste land of preservatives and fake nutrients. These make cells less supple, create a stressed body, a stressed/depressed mind, and more.

Your body is your house. How do you feel about walking into houses that are dirty and uncared for? How does that make you feel? Do you want to live in a well cared for house the rest of your life?

I want to state that being overweight is not synonymous with unhealthiness. Eating and acting in ways that mess up and tear down your house are, not weight.

3. Central Co-op (Madison Market)

I can’t say enough good things about this co-op. This is a member-owned natural foods cooperative that I affectionately call the Mad-mart. That means that people buy into ownership there to help the store and community thrive while sometimes getting discounts on food. There are lots of locally grown-organic foods with a variety of price points. I will always shop here before Whole Foods any day because I know I’m supporting my community.

            The real reason I’m putting Central Co-op here is that this weekend on my two lunch breaks from class I went here for at least part of my lunch. I bought a sesame, ginger, garlic kale and chard salad on both days and some Synergy Raspberry Chia Kombucha. I did have more for lunch as well, but these are the things I’m most grateful for from the weekend. I literally lust after the Kombucha and when I ate the salad, my eyes teared up. If you notice, my crying reflex is a sign to me that something is really awesome.

I love this store and shop here and at Trader Joe’s almost exclusively for everything. I’m in the lower income range, so I basically get my bulk items like spices, grains, legumes from here and the rest from TJ’s. You should go here if you’re in the area, check it out, love it and become a member!

2. Dinner with friends

Six to seven months is far too long to go without a friend sighting. On Saturday night I met up with a group of wonderful ladies that I hadn’t seen in about that long. These ladies are part of my old Starbucks crew from when I worked down in Leschi. We headed to Saffron Grill in Northgate area for a bit of Indian food.

I felt a pregnant tummy for the first time in my entire life at almost 33. Who really knows what I’d been waiting for? I have this secret fear of holding babies kind of like Robin in How I Met Your Mother and I suppose that fear extends to getting too close to the makers of those babies.

It’s been decided we won’t wait another six months. Friends are important for health too.

1. Scandal

            No, I’m not talking about any outrageous events that have recently happened. I’m talking about the show by one of my favorite drama creators, Shonda Rhimes. I didn’t actually happen upon this show until early last week. I kept hearing rave reviews about it, but wasn’t sure if it was going to be for me. I’m never sure if a show is going to be for me until I’m in bed feeling exhausted; not quite exhausted enough to sleep, but too much so to do anything productive. I queud up my Netflix and started the first episode. I was hooked after the first minute. Quinn… got a job for no reason! Ooh… I’ve gotta find out why. And so it goes.

            The first season was only 7 episodes and so I had to move onto season two, which is currently airing on ABC.com. I figured out a way to start on Season two and currently I’m in the middle of Olivia helping… oh wait, I don’t want to ruin it for you. I suggest if you haven’t seen this yet that you check it this weekend. It might just make your list of top fives. It’s deliciously well written and oh so Scandalous!

5 Things I hated

5. Matty the baby sloth

I realize I just said I love these. The only reason this is on here is because I realized after I had watched it for the kazillionth time that I actually wasted a lot of time loving this little dude. I also watched some other compilation of cute animal videos too. There are many other things I could do in place of watching all these wonderfully tear jerking vid’s, like finishing up a podcast or… perhaps I would have just used it watching more Scandal.

4. The Oscars on my facebook, twitter, instagram feeds

The cold hard truth here is that I don’t give a shit about The Oscars. Part of it is because I watched only two of the movies on this years list of contingents: Les Miserables and Django Unchained. I generally don’t have time or money to watch a majority of movies.

The other reason is that I just don’t ever have the urge to sit through what I would characterize as one of the most boring four hour shows ever to grace the television screen. I have seen it in the past and almost gagged on most of the inane jokes told by normally very funny hosts. I can only assume that the comedic guidelines keep them from being funny or maybe it’s just the venue.

From what I hear, missing last nights Oscars was one of the best choices I’ve ever made because of Seth MacFarlane’s miss and diss jokes. I’m sure a few people laughed, but apparently the Family Guy and American Dad creator told a lot of unseemly jokes about race, gender, and class that hit all the wrong places and elicited quite a few groans from the audience.  

I woke up today and realized that the Oscars aren’t going to go away for a few days due to the objectionable humour of MacFarlane as well as some unsavory tweets by the satirical humour website The Onion about Quvenzhane Wallis, a 9-year old black actress up for Best Actress for her starring role in Beasts of the Southern Wild.

One of The O’s staffers tweeted, “Everyone else seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a c—, right?” I’ve got plenty I could say about this, but at this point most of it has been said, why the hell would anyone in their right mind say anything about a 9 year old being a cunt? I don’t really give a shite if you’re in the game of satire, there are limitations and this is one of them.

Thank you Onion for apologizing, but in the wise words of TV show Last Man Standing,  “words are like toothpaste, once they’re out of the tube, you can’t put them back in.”

Well, I suppose now that The Oscars are over we’ll go on to caring about the Kardashian’s and The Bachelor. I would also be okay with not seeing those in my news feed either, but I suppose I should just get used to it because people are always gonna love crappy television. It’s what people watch to realize that their lives are actually on the up and up. I’m one of them.

3. Realizing my period is about to start

That’s all.

2. Getting up for class

As I said earlier, I love learning. What I didn’t love about it was waking up at 6am on both of my days off this weekend just to be in class for 10 hours. I already hate waking up at 5am for work during the week. I just have to remind myself that learning is a privilege.

1. White Male Privilege

I am not going to state any names because of right now I will still have to see this particular offender. What I can say is that I was astounded by this particular white male’s lack of listening skills as a clearly smart, savvy, and sophisticated woman brought to his attention that often women are not listened to and need to make sure they have even more resources and knowledge than men in order to garner their respect.

What did this guy do? He dismissed her concerns by telling her that she has a “negative view” and that this can of course only hinder her progress. He then turned away from her so that she could not even have a chance to dispute him.

I could say so many things right now to refute his stance on this position, but clearly he was not even up for a debate. What do I say to men that refuse to acknowledge that there are particular social problems that women have to deal with while they can go about their merry way?

Well to you I say sir, “go take a women’s studies class or intro to sociology!” (I need to note that I deleted at least 10 other not so savory things I would rather tell him). It gets rather old having to deal with this kind of patriarchal thinking, but today I’m not going to fight it out. I’m going to continue to love people and just remember that all we can keep doing is educating ourselves and hope that others decide to open themselves up to learn and listen with us.

Day #7: Temper Your Heart

Monday: I took this as a day of rest. Slept in until 11am after going to bed around 2. I knew that I didn’t want to walk after two days of endless movement. I really don’t understand how one can be a tourist for multiple days in a row without rest. Perhaps I think this too because I will be a tourist in foreign lands for another thirty days yet. I don’t feel the urgency of visitation and spectatorship. Relaxing is an essential component of a vacation and on this day I do so. A light breakfast and music. I see that Spyros has a classical guitar with one string missing and so I decide I must re-string it so I can practice or else perhaps forget my songs before my return to the states. I have never strung a classical guitar, but there are you-tube videos and so I re-string with that. It is easy and satisfying to know that perhaps I offered at least one thing to this host besides the mess that I continuously create.
After some practice and thoughts on music I decide around 2pm that I should at least attempt to venture out into the city and so I once again return to Ray’s Jazz Café. I sit to write and reflect more on life. I know that this sitting and reflecting couldn’t come to much good because I know that later I will be reminded of the past, but I am avoiding the past in these thoughts and think on the future. As I am walking to the café on this day and older Indian man stops me to tell me that I should temper my heart because it wants the wrong things, but at the very least tells me I will be falling in love soon. I am not sure I should believe him, but it was so random that I want to. I had that premonition a month and a half ago that I would fall in love within the next four months while listening to John Legend. Haha. I figured it was me momentarily being captivated by John Legends coffee liqueur voice. I am still not sure though. I have had premonitions in the past and not listened and they have in fact come true. I just am not sure I believe in them though. I will not put much stock in these. I will explain later why I am thinking so much on love right now though and maybe this will make much more sense.
After too much contemplation again it is time to meet Stacey for dinner and I wonder how people ever find each other in the crowds of London. We decide on a Korean/Japanese place called Loki. I prefer Asian food because most of it is gluten and dairy free, which makes selection much easier. The meal is large and wonderful, exactly what I have needed for a while. I feel my appetite returning again and realize it as a good thing.
Our plans this night are Les Miserables, which I have prepared for by stuffing my pockets with tissues. I already know that I will have a breakdown at the theatre because the first time I went I started crying a mere thirty minutes into the opera. I was worried I would come to the same this time around as well. This time though I had more to think on. The actual plot makes even more sense and strikes heart chords that it didn’t as a child. I feel more sympathetic towards different characters now and it is a completely different experience.
The first time I saw Les Miserables I was fifteen and my mother took me for my birthday. She spent more money than I thought she ought to for something she wasn’t remotely interested in seeing, but did anyway. I know she was bored but she smiled as I cried and loved the music and sang along with poor little Cosette in her little castle on a cloud. As I sit in the audience now I think on how much I wish it was my mother sitting next to me again with our arms locked and once again me tearing up and hoping to one day be one of the actors on stage (I didn’t realize at the time that I could never be in Les Miserables because I’m black).
I did begin to weep a mere thirty minutes in once again, but it wasn’t the plot. It was the way the singers voices felt in my body and the reminders of my missing mother. Then it became my missing mother and her last wishes for me that the opera brought up again and I had known as soon as I saw posters for Les Mis would come, which is why I have been pining for love like a beggar for food all week. My mother died alone like all of us die, but in this case I mean she lived alone and had no one to look after her. I called her that night, likely an hour or so before she passed. It was St. Paddy’s Day 2009 when others are celebrating overzealously with drink and cheer that we said our last “I love you’s” and she said, “have you met anyone yet?” and I said “no” once again because I felt too hard hearted to meet anyone at the time. We hung up with no new revelations, but knowing that we would talk again tomorrow or the next. There was no tomorrow or the next though. All there was was a phone call from Raleigh and before she uttered a word, I knew. I screamed and thought I would die, so I hung up on her because maybe it wouldn’t be real if I didn’t let her speak.
The thing is that you don’t know what to expect when someone you love dies. All I could think of as I boarded a plane hours after the call were all of the things that I never gave her that she expected of me or didn’t. I wanted to give her a home and let her rest for the remainder of her life that had been hard for most, but I didn’t. I wanted to give her grandchildren so she could see herself in them, but that would never happen either. I could only think that I had been so selfish and that because I didn’t want to be hurt I was avoiding what could maybe make me happy.
I brought a picture of her with me so I can look at it anytime I need her and she smiles at me and says things are okay. This is in fact why I’ve been too much thinking on the heart this week. When I think of my mother and some of her last words to me it makes me think of loneliness. I am not lonely though. I enjoy my independence much of the time, but I do think it would be wonderful to have a family to take care of sometimes. I just think of how nice it would be to have someone to come home to. In time that will come, but for now I will just explore and live and love and be loved and know that my mom is always with me no matter where I go. I dedicate everyday I am here to her memory and hope that people can see the good of her in me, because she was a good person that loved people and would help them even if they had hurt her. I never saw her as that while a child, but as I grew older I saw in her a woman I wanted to be. So I take her good and her bad as my own and hope to make her proud in everyday I live. Mom, I love you.